Discipline vs. Punishment

Sometimes people confuse the difference between punishing a child and disciplining a child. There is a difference.
 
Discipline means: Punishment means:
using positive ways of guiding children

teaching that physical force is the way to solve problems
 

teaching children skills that match their age and abilities

hurting the child, often because of the adult’s frustration and anger
 

children learn to develop self-control

the adult will continually have to control the child’s behaviour
 

the adult has control, but the child’s needs, wishes and abilities are respected

the adult is powerful and rules over the child who must always obey
 

developing positive relationships between children and caregivers making them feel good about themselves breaking down relationships between children and caregivers, making the child feel bad
 
 

WHY CHILDREN MISBEHAVE

There are many reasons why children do not behave the way adults want them to behave. Understanding what is causing the problem, when and how often it seems to happen will help you to decide what to do.
 
Am I remembering that:
  • the child may be feeling tired, hungry, sick, in pain, frustrated, upset, or bored?

  • the child has needs that should be taken care of?
     
  • the child may be wanting attention?
     
  • the child is trying to be in control?
     
  • I may be expecting too much from the child?
     
  • I may not have told the child clearly what I want them to do?
     
  • the child may not understand my rules?
     
  • the child may be feeling unfairly treated or a child may feel that a situation is unfair?
     
  • the behaviour may be part of the child’s temperament?
     
  • misbehaving is a way a child may show poor self-esteem?



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