The dynamics of victimization suggests that children who are targeted are often chosen for the very qualities that prevent them from saying “no” or telling someone about the abuse. Vulnerable children with low self-esteem, poor communication skills, a lack of understanding about how and where to get help are at a higher risk of victimization. The purpose of the I’m A Great Kid! program is to empower children to think and act positively while building the skills and abilities that lessen their vulnerability to victimization. This can be accomplished in children by building their self-esteem, developing their communication and decision-making skills, and fostering a developmentally appropriate understanding of healthy relationships and respect for others.
SELF-ESTEEM is a feeling of self-worth and feeling good about oneself. It means recognizing uniqueness, strengths and areas of improvement. It is important for children to participate in activities that build on their strengths, thereby helping them develop a sense of confidence and an appreciation of their abilities. Self-esteem is about how children ”feel inside” with respect to themselves. Self-concept is about how children think about themselves. Children who are confident and feel good about themselves are not only less likely to be victimized, but also are less likely to grow up to victimize others. Teachers can help children to build seof-esteem.
Teach children to say positive things about themselves: positive self-talk increases self-respect, which can impact how children see themselves and how they are treated by others. Help your students practice positive affirmations.
Focus on strengths: help children believe in themselves by guiding them to identify things that they are good at, enjoy doing or that other’s appreciate about them.
Model respect: children learn quickly from the actions of adults; speak well of others, avoid using sarcasm and be aware of negative body language.
Motivate through praise: children are more likely to co-operate when they feel they are valued and well-liked. Berating, embarrassing or constantly reprimanding a child can build resentment and work against your efforts to influence behaviour.
Create projects: support children’s creativity within the classroom and school. Motivate your students with pride, accomplishment and the courage to try something new.
COMMUNICATION is the process of sending and receiving verbal and non-verbal messages. It involves understanding feelings and needs, recognizing that everyone has the right to express feelings without infringing on the rights of others, and knowing how to express thoughts and feelings clearly. Children can increase their skills and their confidence in themselves as communicators when they receive the support they need to communicate in situations they recognize as important.
Teachers can support their students to develop communication skills:
Talk with them: give lots of opportunity for children to participate in conversations.
Listen to them: recognize that what children have to say is important.
Respect them: when you consider your students’ feelings, they learn that everyone’s feelings are valued.
Set an example for them: surround your students with positive communication where ideas and feelings are expressed openly.
Guide them: Recognize that words are powerful and use positive messages when responding to your students.
DECISION-MAKING is the ability to think of options(different ways of doing something), consider the risks and consequences of each option, and act upon a choice. For children, making choices involves:
- recognizing that they have the ability to make decisions
- having the opportunity to practice developmentally appropriate decision-making, both as a group and independently
- using critical thinking skills such as identifying cause and effect, analyzing, processing, and predicting
- recognizing that making decisions is developmental and it is okay to ask for help and support if the choices are confusing
Teachers can support their students to learn how to make positive choices:
Provide opportunities for choice: give your students the chance to make age appropriate decisions every day.
Express confidence in their ability: let your students know that you have faith in their ability to make reasonable choices.
Consider others: consider your students’ feelings when you make decisions, and they will learn to consider others in their decision-making.
Respect the choices of others: show your students that you respect the choices of others by accepting their decisions, as long as no one’s well-being is being jeopardized.
Consider different points of view: help your students to value what others have to say.
RESPECTING OTHERS is about treating people the way in which we want to be treated. It means paying attention to our own and others’ feelings, ideas, bodies and property. We show our respect through our actions and our words. Respect entails a universal regard for differences and a celebration of culture, religion, values, family, and diversity. It involves teaching children about their rights and the need to respect other people’s rights.
Teachers can support their students to learn the importance of respect:
Show respect: listen to what others have to say.
Talk openly: all feelings and ideas are valuable and important and can be talked about.
Set an example: treat everyone in the class fairly, providing opportunities for all students that respect their interests and abilities.
Appreciate people’s differences: participate in events and activities that give
children the opportunity to share in and appreciate the beliefs and customs of others.
TOUCH is an important part of human relationships. Touch is a confusing area for many adults, as well as children, because it can convey mixed messages. For example, parents may tell children to kiss someone goodnight when they would not kiss the person themselves, or a child may be spanked as a punishment for hitting a sibling. Children need to be taught that they can give permission to touch or to be touched. They also need help developing the skills to sort out the difference between touch that feels good, touch that does not feel good and touch that is uncomfortable. Most importantly, is the knowledge that no one has the right to force or trick someone into touch, and that all touch can be talked about with others. Children who know they have the right to say “no” and/or question such behaviour have gained valuable prevention skills against exploitation.
Teachers can support their students to talk about touching:
Respect differences: emphasize that people have different beliefs about touching depending on their culture, family values, age, sex and personal preferences - beliefs that should be respected.
Talk about touch: when opportunities arise, openly discuss with children different kinds of touch and the feelings connected to touching.
Show respect: talk to children about liking and respecting themselves, appreciating that they have the right to decide how they want to be touched.
Set an example: children need to know that angry feelings are okay, and that problems can be solved without being physical and hurting one another.
There are no secrets: explain to children that no one has the right to tell them to keep any kind of touch a secret - remember ALL touching can be talked about.
HOW & WHERE TO GET HELP involves recognizingand accessing a support system - people around us who are helpers, who can provide support, encouragement, and who can speak out for children. There are two kinds of support systems: a formal support system that includes teachers, doctors, nurses, counselors, police, and child protection services; and an informal support system that includes family, friends, relatives, and neighbours. Knowing when to go for help is based on trusting our feelings. Knowing where to get help, and to keep telling until someone helps is crucial.
Teachers can support their students to feel comfortable in asking for help:
Identify supports: talk with students to identify which adults they would go to for help, recognizing that whom they choose must be someone they trust.
Talk about secrets: discuss the difference between secrets and surprises - reinforce the message that no one has the right to ask you to keep a secret, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Always trust your feelings: emphasize to students that they should trust their feelings and talk to someone if they need help, even if they feel embarrassed, confused, or scared about telling.
Set an example: show children the different ways in which friends and family help one another.
Keep telling: empower children to get help for themselves and others by encouraging them to keep telling until someone helps them.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
Author & Poet