High Risk Caregiver Behaviours

There are many caregiver behaviours that, while not intended to harm children, could lead to child abuse if they continue. When reading the list of high-risk caregiver behaviours, one must be honest and ask “Am I like this?” If the answer is “maybe” or “yes” then learning other ways to work with children is important.

Do I:

resent the needs of the children in my care?
always want to be in control of the children and how they behave?
set rules, limits and routines that meet my needs and not the children’s needs?
use or threaten to use physical force with children, including pushing, shoving, shaking and spanking?
humiliate children (for example by criticizing, insulting, and embarrassing them, even in front of others)?
fail to understand why children misbehave?
use punishment instead of positive discipline?
have trouble responding to difficult behaviours?
expect too much from myself or the children?
feel and show a dislike toward a certain child?
have a hard time controlling my anger?
feel stressed out, tired and have difficulty coping, thinking “I have to do it all myself” and not ask for help?
fail to step in to protect a child who is being physically or emotionally hurt?
have a special relationship with a certain child by: letting the child do or have more; wanting to be alone with that child; or trying to keep the relationship with the child a secret?
ignore the laws that protect children and the child protection system?

(Adapted from Dawson, R. Preventing Abuse & Allegations of Abuse, 1995)

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SUGGESTIONS FOR HIGH-RISK CAREGIVERS

Talk about your feelings and the pressures of the job with someone who understands and has experience with children (e.g., a colleague, your supervisor).
If you are getting upset, try to calm yourself by taking a “time out” for yourself, doing deep breathing, listening to music or whatever relaxation activities work for you.
If you work with an agency, talk to your supervisor to develop better ways of responding to children’s behaviour, and ways for you to cope better.
Get more information through workshops, reading, and videos on what to expect from children, positive communication with others, and positive guidance.
Try to have contact with other staff/caregivers and children, so you do not feel you are on your own.
Get professional help to work through your own problems and to learn how to control anger.
Understand the laws that protect children.
Recognize that this may not be the right time to be caring for children.